Post by Jade Night on Dec 8, 2022 1:25:21 GMT
There were sounds in the distance of crickets chirping. Giving off the impression of a summer evening. So much time ago, when this moment took place.
There was a creek not so far away, a blanket laid out, and up above were a sky full of stars, something you couldn’t see from just any place in the world, only in an area where smog didn’t cover and conceal the sky.
Kaia sat with her knees bent pulling them closer to her as if she were clinging to them for dear life, as she stared up into the night. If anyone knew anything about her they would know just how much she admired the stars, most wouldn’t understand her free practitioner religion, but most didn’t have to as it wasn’t really theirs to partake in.
She only relaxed when the familiar figure of Asher Miles came to join her, sitting next to her she almost instantly peeled his arm away to put it around her, now grabbing hold of the blanket he’d brought from the car for her to wrap her legs in. She gently placed a free arm around the small of his back so that she could rest her head freely on his shoulder.
Kaia Grainger: “Thank you, I didn’t realize how cool it was going to be tonight. Though I suppose stranger things have happened.”
She offered with a smirk.
Asher Miles: "That they have!"
He laughed lightly as he shook his head. He had an idea that it would be cold, which is why he had packed the blanket preemptively and already had a jacket on. Then again, Asher seemed to always have some form of jacket on, didn't he? Whether it was some baggy zip up jacket or a trench coat, he always had layers on. But there is a reason for that. It was a security blanket of sorts. Have those layers protected him from the outside world. It protected him from his past, from where he came from. Well, except when it came to the likes of his childhood friend, Donovan Keane, who grew up with the same shitty upbringing as Asher. The other exception was, of course, Kaia. Nobody knew Asher like she did and despite never asking him why he always had on those layers of clothing? She knew why. She didn't need to ask and she didn't want to either. She let Asher be Asher. Asher looked up at the sky and let out a small sigh.
Asher Miles: It's crazy to think about how much is out there and we're just ants compared to all of it. There's so many stars, moons, worlds, solar systems and who knows what else out there. And we're just here. A blip on the radar.
He looked toward Kaia and frowned a little bit.
Asher Miles: I don't know... Sometimes it makes me wonder if any of this really matters?
Kaia had leaned into him listening to the sound of his voice as her body wrapped itself within his warmth. She didn’t necessarily look up at him, but she could still hear whatever it was in his voice, the frown that took over his features. She pondered for several moments before she responded.
Kaia Grainger: “man questioning it’s place in the universe is not a new sentiment”
She measured, briefly reaching up to stroke the side of his cheek with her finger. She knew how his thoughts haunted him at times, how there were so many memories buried deep, she could see it as it consumed him at certain moments but it never frightened her away from what she saw inside of him, the light of that person who had been hurt, damaged, almost beyond repair.
Kaia Grainger: “just remember as much as those galaxies, stars, and planets may seem impressive each one is made up of tiny remnants of dust and debris, no matter how small or large each element has its own part to play and yet it does not question its own significance, and neither should you.”
The tone was very direct, especially for her as she knew that Asher did not always respond well to subtlety.
Kaia Grainger: “You are important, and all of this does matter”
He quickly responded.
Asher Miles: "It's just hard to think that I do, you know?"
He took a quick moment to gather his thoughts before he continued on.
Asher Miles: "For so many years, I was consumed by hatred and anger. I was consumed with revenge. I wanted to make Donnie pay for what his father did to mine. I wanted to make him pay for not taking me with him. I blamed him. Then we beat the shit out of each other, we took each other to the brink and finally, I saw the light. I know that he wasn't at fault for any of it and I just had so much misplaced anger and bullshit."
He sighed as his hand traveled down to hers and he grasped it and squeezed it tightly.
Asher Miles: "Just... Ever since that happened, I feel like I don't have a purpose anymore. I mean..."
He turns toward her, using his free hand to run through her hair.
Asher Miles: "The only thing I feel like I do right is loving you. But I feel like I need to be more. For you and for us. I need to find my real purpose. I thought it was to be an Avenger, but I just don't know anymore."
Kaia let him speak, she knew whatever feelings he had there, they needed to work themselves out, he needed to let whatever his feelings were float to the surface and be free. While many may not know Asher the way that she did it took a place like this that was so free and void of any listening ears to truly emit his feelings into the atmosphere. So that whatever was here could enter the atmosphere and not be used as an element of betrayal. He was meticulous and thoughtful, calculative of every single move and that is what made him as The Avenger, extremely dangerous, but Kaia always knew deep down that this is not what he wanted to be. There was always something else flurrying beneath.
Kaia Grainger: “I wish I had those answers for you, Antares. Unfortunately, there are some things even I cannot see, and the future is one of them.”
She returned the squeeze of his hand, returned the look in his eye also, even with the pitch black night you could see the icy blue depths of them peering back at you. She could only stare at him in amazement most times. His eyes always seemed like such a portal to his soul, much deeper than anyone she'd ever seen.
Kaia Grainger: “The thing is with personal growth, we don’t know the full answer to the things we seek until we search further, I too feel lost sometimes, but it's my beliefs and my faith in you that steers me onward. Of course finding such motivations is not for me to depict for you. If you feel there is something left to Avenge then perhaps there is a place you need to look further, if you don’t feel there is anything left to Avenge, then perhaps it is time to search for what will make you feel wholesome. Whether it be a path you’ve not yet taken or one you have that perhaps needs reconciliation.”
Asher Miles: "That's the thing..."
Asher paused as he ran his thumb along Kaia's palm.
Asher Miles: "I still do think that there needs to be an Avenger in wrestling. Someone who takes justice into their own hands and makes those who have done wrong feel that justice, through any means necessary. But I have this other feeling. This other need."
He took a deep breath and exhaled, keeping his gaze on the stars as he continued to speak.
Asher Miles: "I want to do this for me now too. Like... Legit for me. I want to be happy, I want to be a champion. But when I think about all that?I feel... Selfish? And I guess that's what has been making me feel so conflicted. I want to help people but I gotta help myself too, right?"
She measured a half-hearted grin at him. Obviously not amused by his thoughts but actually quite surprised by his admission. When she first met him, Asher had been dead set on avenging his father’s honor, his family’s debt. Even when she didn’t know what it was that he fought for, in some ways deep down she knew. There was something there that told her of it, the way he spoke, the furrow of his brow, the anger in his voice. He was the red star long before she’d ever called him such a name. He had fire and compassion. He was indeed Antares.
Kaia Grainger: “It's not selfish to want for yourself. How can you place yourself into a position where you are capable of helping if you’re not working to improve yourself also. It is not impossible to be both an Avenger for the good of others while still accomplishing personal goals. Though I understand your confliction and sometimes it may seem like personal ambition may get in the way, but who is there that needs to be avenged at this moment in time? Who is there that needs to be saved, aside from possibly your own inhibitions? . . . the answer is simple Antares, no one.”
She used her free hand to direct his gaze towards her.
Kaia Grainger: “You are much greater than you give yourself credit for, and while you may think you need to hide or disclose this information from those who might hurt you, understand that I see who you are underneath and it may not be such a bad thing if others do too.”
She gently moved her hand to the top of his coat, sliding one of the buttons loose and letting it open up ever so slightly.
Kaia Grainger: “Even if it is only one piece at a time.”
Asher Miles: "I see what you did there."
Asher smiled widely, which was usually a rare sight to behold when it came to him. He'd have a smirk or small smile here and there but right now? He smiled widely. Kaia was usually the one person who could make him this way.
Asher Miles: "As always though, you're right."
He leaned in and kissed her softly before he broke it with a sigh.
Asher Miles: "I sometimes wonder why I overthink shit so much when I can just talk to you about it. Saying it out loud and hearing your responses always put me at ease. I guess that's because it's you in general that puts me at ease."
Kaia Grainger: “I’m glad”
She stated truthfully, because while she put him at ease he made her feel safe, made her feel like she wasn’t in this world alone and that was a hard feat. From the time they’d known each other Kaia had basically been the bearer of responsibility, running a defunct gym that had been her dad's life work before he’d found booze to be more important, always telling her how worthless she was, even though she’d paid her own way through college and had managed her own business as well as training for her dreams. She knew the dilemma that Asher faced when he spoke of wanting to do things for himself and had he not been there to tell her she was good enough, she may have never accomplished hers. For her he wasn’t an Avenger but a guiding hope in moments of darkness.
Kaia: “because I hate to see you doubt yourself and not fully understand what it is that you do for others even when you may not realize it.”
Asher Miles: "Well..."
He looked up at the stars before looking back at her.
Asher Miles: "As long as I have my lightbringer, I'll be able to see those things that I do. Because after all, it's you who's constantly shining light on me. Leading the way for me, helping me find the right paths to take. The meaningful paths."
Kaia Grainger: “You can count on it”
She measured offering a real smile of her own to him in return. Whatever nerves or contemplation Asher may have had about himself, Kaia had always been able to help him find the direction he needed to go, guiding him if she could so that the path would become clear. Thus far she felt like she’d done a good job of that but truthfully he did it for himself more than she did it for him. He was the one doing the work she just helped him see with clarity.
Kaia Grainger: “because I would be lost without you, Antares”
She said it again the name she’d called him a thousand times but this time you could hear the genuine nature of her words.
Asher Miles: "And I'd be lost without you, my love and my light."
He smiled before looking up once again.
Asher Miles: "But you know what? Being lost doesn't sound so bad, you know? As long as it's you that I'm lost with, traveling among the stars. Yeah... That sounds nice."
Kaia smiled at that thought. She never really knew Asher to be a dreamer, he was always prevalent about other things prior to her meeting him but now it seemed he had allowed his mind to wander, he was free of the things that had plagued him before. He seemed happy as strange as that might be to many, if only they knew his life and the true secrets he harbored they would know why being a dreamer and being happy could’ve been difficult for him, yet Kaia knew and thus, it made her happy to see him moving towards a place of happiness, towards being a dreamer and chasing what she metaphorically called “the light” he didn’t know it but this is how things were supposed to happen, it was something she knew from the first moment they’d met.
Kaia Grainger: “Then I say let’s get lost, let us stay in that place that feels nice”
She moved even closer now well enough that she clinched to him.
And their sights drifted among the stars
</fin>
There was a creek not so far away, a blanket laid out, and up above were a sky full of stars, something you couldn’t see from just any place in the world, only in an area where smog didn’t cover and conceal the sky.
Kaia sat with her knees bent pulling them closer to her as if she were clinging to them for dear life, as she stared up into the night. If anyone knew anything about her they would know just how much she admired the stars, most wouldn’t understand her free practitioner religion, but most didn’t have to as it wasn’t really theirs to partake in.
She only relaxed when the familiar figure of Asher Miles came to join her, sitting next to her she almost instantly peeled his arm away to put it around her, now grabbing hold of the blanket he’d brought from the car for her to wrap her legs in. She gently placed a free arm around the small of his back so that she could rest her head freely on his shoulder.
Kaia Grainger: “Thank you, I didn’t realize how cool it was going to be tonight. Though I suppose stranger things have happened.”
She offered with a smirk.
Asher Miles: "That they have!"
He laughed lightly as he shook his head. He had an idea that it would be cold, which is why he had packed the blanket preemptively and already had a jacket on. Then again, Asher seemed to always have some form of jacket on, didn't he? Whether it was some baggy zip up jacket or a trench coat, he always had layers on. But there is a reason for that. It was a security blanket of sorts. Have those layers protected him from the outside world. It protected him from his past, from where he came from. Well, except when it came to the likes of his childhood friend, Donovan Keane, who grew up with the same shitty upbringing as Asher. The other exception was, of course, Kaia. Nobody knew Asher like she did and despite never asking him why he always had on those layers of clothing? She knew why. She didn't need to ask and she didn't want to either. She let Asher be Asher. Asher looked up at the sky and let out a small sigh.
Asher Miles: It's crazy to think about how much is out there and we're just ants compared to all of it. There's so many stars, moons, worlds, solar systems and who knows what else out there. And we're just here. A blip on the radar.
He looked toward Kaia and frowned a little bit.
Asher Miles: I don't know... Sometimes it makes me wonder if any of this really matters?
Kaia had leaned into him listening to the sound of his voice as her body wrapped itself within his warmth. She didn’t necessarily look up at him, but she could still hear whatever it was in his voice, the frown that took over his features. She pondered for several moments before she responded.
Kaia Grainger: “man questioning it’s place in the universe is not a new sentiment”
She measured, briefly reaching up to stroke the side of his cheek with her finger. She knew how his thoughts haunted him at times, how there were so many memories buried deep, she could see it as it consumed him at certain moments but it never frightened her away from what she saw inside of him, the light of that person who had been hurt, damaged, almost beyond repair.
Kaia Grainger: “just remember as much as those galaxies, stars, and planets may seem impressive each one is made up of tiny remnants of dust and debris, no matter how small or large each element has its own part to play and yet it does not question its own significance, and neither should you.”
The tone was very direct, especially for her as she knew that Asher did not always respond well to subtlety.
Kaia Grainger: “You are important, and all of this does matter”
He quickly responded.
Asher Miles: "It's just hard to think that I do, you know?"
He took a quick moment to gather his thoughts before he continued on.
Asher Miles: "For so many years, I was consumed by hatred and anger. I was consumed with revenge. I wanted to make Donnie pay for what his father did to mine. I wanted to make him pay for not taking me with him. I blamed him. Then we beat the shit out of each other, we took each other to the brink and finally, I saw the light. I know that he wasn't at fault for any of it and I just had so much misplaced anger and bullshit."
He sighed as his hand traveled down to hers and he grasped it and squeezed it tightly.
Asher Miles: "Just... Ever since that happened, I feel like I don't have a purpose anymore. I mean..."
He turns toward her, using his free hand to run through her hair.
Asher Miles: "The only thing I feel like I do right is loving you. But I feel like I need to be more. For you and for us. I need to find my real purpose. I thought it was to be an Avenger, but I just don't know anymore."
Kaia let him speak, she knew whatever feelings he had there, they needed to work themselves out, he needed to let whatever his feelings were float to the surface and be free. While many may not know Asher the way that she did it took a place like this that was so free and void of any listening ears to truly emit his feelings into the atmosphere. So that whatever was here could enter the atmosphere and not be used as an element of betrayal. He was meticulous and thoughtful, calculative of every single move and that is what made him as The Avenger, extremely dangerous, but Kaia always knew deep down that this is not what he wanted to be. There was always something else flurrying beneath.
Kaia Grainger: “I wish I had those answers for you, Antares. Unfortunately, there are some things even I cannot see, and the future is one of them.”
She returned the squeeze of his hand, returned the look in his eye also, even with the pitch black night you could see the icy blue depths of them peering back at you. She could only stare at him in amazement most times. His eyes always seemed like such a portal to his soul, much deeper than anyone she'd ever seen.
Kaia Grainger: “The thing is with personal growth, we don’t know the full answer to the things we seek until we search further, I too feel lost sometimes, but it's my beliefs and my faith in you that steers me onward. Of course finding such motivations is not for me to depict for you. If you feel there is something left to Avenge then perhaps there is a place you need to look further, if you don’t feel there is anything left to Avenge, then perhaps it is time to search for what will make you feel wholesome. Whether it be a path you’ve not yet taken or one you have that perhaps needs reconciliation.”
Asher Miles: "That's the thing..."
Asher paused as he ran his thumb along Kaia's palm.
Asher Miles: "I still do think that there needs to be an Avenger in wrestling. Someone who takes justice into their own hands and makes those who have done wrong feel that justice, through any means necessary. But I have this other feeling. This other need."
He took a deep breath and exhaled, keeping his gaze on the stars as he continued to speak.
Asher Miles: "I want to do this for me now too. Like... Legit for me. I want to be happy, I want to be a champion. But when I think about all that?I feel... Selfish? And I guess that's what has been making me feel so conflicted. I want to help people but I gotta help myself too, right?"
She measured a half-hearted grin at him. Obviously not amused by his thoughts but actually quite surprised by his admission. When she first met him, Asher had been dead set on avenging his father’s honor, his family’s debt. Even when she didn’t know what it was that he fought for, in some ways deep down she knew. There was something there that told her of it, the way he spoke, the furrow of his brow, the anger in his voice. He was the red star long before she’d ever called him such a name. He had fire and compassion. He was indeed Antares.
Kaia Grainger: “It's not selfish to want for yourself. How can you place yourself into a position where you are capable of helping if you’re not working to improve yourself also. It is not impossible to be both an Avenger for the good of others while still accomplishing personal goals. Though I understand your confliction and sometimes it may seem like personal ambition may get in the way, but who is there that needs to be avenged at this moment in time? Who is there that needs to be saved, aside from possibly your own inhibitions? . . . the answer is simple Antares, no one.”
She used her free hand to direct his gaze towards her.
Kaia Grainger: “You are much greater than you give yourself credit for, and while you may think you need to hide or disclose this information from those who might hurt you, understand that I see who you are underneath and it may not be such a bad thing if others do too.”
She gently moved her hand to the top of his coat, sliding one of the buttons loose and letting it open up ever so slightly.
Kaia Grainger: “Even if it is only one piece at a time.”
Asher Miles: "I see what you did there."
Asher smiled widely, which was usually a rare sight to behold when it came to him. He'd have a smirk or small smile here and there but right now? He smiled widely. Kaia was usually the one person who could make him this way.
Asher Miles: "As always though, you're right."
He leaned in and kissed her softly before he broke it with a sigh.
Asher Miles: "I sometimes wonder why I overthink shit so much when I can just talk to you about it. Saying it out loud and hearing your responses always put me at ease. I guess that's because it's you in general that puts me at ease."
Kaia Grainger: “I’m glad”
She stated truthfully, because while she put him at ease he made her feel safe, made her feel like she wasn’t in this world alone and that was a hard feat. From the time they’d known each other Kaia had basically been the bearer of responsibility, running a defunct gym that had been her dad's life work before he’d found booze to be more important, always telling her how worthless she was, even though she’d paid her own way through college and had managed her own business as well as training for her dreams. She knew the dilemma that Asher faced when he spoke of wanting to do things for himself and had he not been there to tell her she was good enough, she may have never accomplished hers. For her he wasn’t an Avenger but a guiding hope in moments of darkness.
Kaia: “because I hate to see you doubt yourself and not fully understand what it is that you do for others even when you may not realize it.”
Asher Miles: "Well..."
He looked up at the stars before looking back at her.
Asher Miles: "As long as I have my lightbringer, I'll be able to see those things that I do. Because after all, it's you who's constantly shining light on me. Leading the way for me, helping me find the right paths to take. The meaningful paths."
Kaia Grainger: “You can count on it”
She measured offering a real smile of her own to him in return. Whatever nerves or contemplation Asher may have had about himself, Kaia had always been able to help him find the direction he needed to go, guiding him if she could so that the path would become clear. Thus far she felt like she’d done a good job of that but truthfully he did it for himself more than she did it for him. He was the one doing the work she just helped him see with clarity.
Kaia Grainger: “because I would be lost without you, Antares”
She said it again the name she’d called him a thousand times but this time you could hear the genuine nature of her words.
Asher Miles: "And I'd be lost without you, my love and my light."
He smiled before looking up once again.
Asher Miles: "But you know what? Being lost doesn't sound so bad, you know? As long as it's you that I'm lost with, traveling among the stars. Yeah... That sounds nice."
Kaia smiled at that thought. She never really knew Asher to be a dreamer, he was always prevalent about other things prior to her meeting him but now it seemed he had allowed his mind to wander, he was free of the things that had plagued him before. He seemed happy as strange as that might be to many, if only they knew his life and the true secrets he harbored they would know why being a dreamer and being happy could’ve been difficult for him, yet Kaia knew and thus, it made her happy to see him moving towards a place of happiness, towards being a dreamer and chasing what she metaphorically called “the light” he didn’t know it but this is how things were supposed to happen, it was something she knew from the first moment they’d met.
Kaia Grainger: “Then I say let’s get lost, let us stay in that place that feels nice”
She moved even closer now well enough that she clinched to him.
And their sights drifted among the stars
</fin>