Post by charlirozzi on Oct 29, 2024 9:30:42 GMT -8
Haven West was alone.
The empty, cramped hotel gym was her sanctuary; when nothing else made sense she could come here and let the world melt away. Being in the gym was when she felt closest to her mother, she could feel her in every kick she landed. When she was in the gym it was like the essence of the woman she had spent her life trying to know, was right there with her, guiding her.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
The feel of the beaten up old leather giving beneath her strike was familiar, safe. As she pulled her right leg up and kicked the punching bag with full force behind it, landing strike after strike in the exact same spot until the bag began to fold and ripple beneath her striking zone, it was like nothing had ever changed.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
She was six years old, running down the street in her school clothes. Her classmates were playing and laughing as they chased the local stray cats and were handed treats from their mothers for the end of the school day. Dashing past all of them, she would run headlong into the gym that had been home to her for as long as she held memories. A young Haven practically falling over her own feet as she burst into the small reception hall that preceded the room where the real training happened.
She stopped, staring up at the photographs on the wall. A beautiful blonde woman with a strength behind her eyes she longed to emulate even at such a young age stared down at her from the gilded frame of her photo. Haven bowed her head, kneeling and whispering something to herself, one hand wrapped around a simple gold ring that hung around her neck from a thinning leather lace. And the photograph left - a dark haired man with mean eyes and an even meaner expression glared down. She didn’t offer the same mark of respect to him, too young to know who he was and why she had been spared, she climbed to her feet.
Haven rushed to kick off her shoes, shoving her coat and school bag under a small table and snatching up the bag, a little canvas kit bag that had taken the spot just moments before. She couldn’t change quick enough, wrestling with Auntie to escape her hair being slicked back and tied up. Desperate to get out there, to not miss another single second of anything.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
She’s eleven years old, rain pouring down from the sky and hitting the wide black umbrellas overhead with a steady patter. The faces of students spanning decades somber and silent stood beside the open grave. She couldn’t hear the words of the man standing at the head of the grave, dressed in black robes; his prayer lost on her heart, his blessings finding her soul out of reach as she searched those faces. Row after row of people she knew, when all she really wanted was to see the face of one she didn’t.
The thudding of dirt on his coffin drowned out the sobs of loved ones, white pressed hankies held to their eyes as they watched the man who had guided them, all of them for so many years be placed in his final resting place. Haven’s heart raced as she caught a glimpse of it, the shiny wooden finish of his coffin slowly disappearing from view beneath layers and layers of mud and dirt. Anger and grief hit her, how could she not have come? How could she leave them all here to bury him without her? Didn’t she care? Didn’t she love them any more?
Haven thought about flinging herself in there with him, going with the last of the family she had left. Curling up there in that grave with him. Would she come then? If the dirt began to swallow her up and they buried her, would that be enough for her mother to come home? As if she knew, could see the idea written across the face of her young ward; Dara reached out and grabbed Haven by the shoulder, drawing her into her chest in a tight hug. The rain breaking through the line of umbrellas disguising the tears on both of their cheeks.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
Sixteen. Flush with the color of first love and young exuberance.
Running down the street still in her school clothes, stopping to feed the local stray cats who mew and purr at the sight of her. Each feline fed and checked over before she takes off running once again, feet skidding on the uneven path and hot red cheeks giving away her less than graceful entrance as she barrelled into the small home she shared with Auntie and the twins she considered her siblings. Kicking off her shoes and hanging her bag on the hook by the door.
Up on the wall, that same photo. Faded now and sun worn, parts of the once golden blonde hair now almost gray, those wilful eyes filled with determination losing saturation. But still Haven bowed to her knees, head forward as she began to utter the same prayer she had offered every day since she could speak. Her hand wrapped around the simple gold ring that hung around her neck from a simple leather string.
Where were you A cold voice from mean lips, an even meaner expression on his face. Dark eyes with malice like daggers on her skin.
Haven stood and turned, a nervous smile on her face. She wanted to tell him that she had run all the way home, quick as she could but her words didn’t reach his eyes. Her pleads missed his heart as his shadow swallowed her whole, like the deep open grave she had longed to throw herself into.
Why do you make me do this He asked, fists all balled up. Sharp and painful scarlet droplets flowing, disguising the tears on her cheeks.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Come Home.
She’s seventeen, a single piece of white paper held between trembling fingertips. The overhead speakers advised passengers of their gate numbers and flight times. The rows on rows of cold metal benches littered with those who had time to kill thanks to long layovers or flight delays. A single black gym bag at her feet, filled with whatever she had been able to pack in a hurry. Seventeen years of life thrown into a bag in the middle of the night.
Her feet had run down those cobbled streets, skipping around the first of the early risers, her sneakers thudding out in the quiet of the just before dawn. Her hair swept back off her face, tied high in a ponytail just like she had seen in the photos she had looked at a hundred times, the same photos that were now shoved into the gym bag.
People continued to mill around, rolling suitcases across smooth floors made a soothing sound as her bright eyes canned the letter over and over again. The envelope on her lap, faded and folded. No post mark or stamp remained and if you hadn’t known the address before it was rubbed away, you wouldn’t even be able to tell where it had been posted to.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Come Home.
Seventeen.
Rain hammers down from the sky, splashing against the window panes just outside of the small room where she stood. Looking up, staring beyond the ceiling and into the sky above. Willing the cloud to come down, to converge on the building and blind her from the cold, bright room that held what was left of her world. She saw that beautiful blonde hair, as long and as vibrant as when she was six years old, gazing up at a woman she would never know. Her eyes, like the fading old photograph that stood in the hall, the fire and the strength gone. Haven fell to her knees, hands pressed to her chest as if to keep her heart from ripping from her chest.
No prayers or blessings, just a scream that belonged to someone else, a scream tearing through the room and darkening the souls of the men who lined the wall behind her. She had wished to see the face of a stranger and now that was all she would ever see again. Her hands balled into fists, pushing against her knees as he screamed. Her body racked with sobs, tearing pieces of herself away. Only a thin pane of glass between them; it was too much.
Haven thought about throwing her through that window, crawling through the shards of fallen glass and climbing onto that table. She wanted to curl up there beside her, let them pull the sheet over them both if it meant she would know the touch of her mother just once. To know she cared. But it wasn’t enough, she was already too late.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Come home.
Eighteen.
Haven didn’t have an actual ‘home’ at least, not in the country but the Las Vegas hotel way off the strip that took long term tenants was just fine for her. The passing of her mother last year had set off the chain of events and now here she was, attempting to follow in the footsteps of someone she had never actually met, but had looked up to her entire life. Growing up in Thailand she was used to simple living and ‘Auntie’ as she called her, the woman who was her moms adoptive sister had made sure she had everything she needed when she made the plans to do all of this.
But when she got here and somehow managed to get a coveted spot at Crucible, she quickly realised that not only was every other person in the academy more experienced than her… but she was also living in a shadow only she could see.
That’s why, once they were placed in their factions, she had reached out to people who knew her mother; who she felt she could perhaps trust since they had been colleagues and not the kind to turn on her either. But now she was waiting for one of her coaches in the same hotel room she had arrived to and it suddenly seemed like a stupid and dangerous idea to have this conversation with anyone who knew her mother.
At least she had talked herself out of going straight to Jenson or worse… the Anderson’s. So for now she just paced the floor of the tiny kitchenette the room offered, waiting for a knock at the door.
He knocked lightly, waiting until Haven opened the door before giving her an easy smile. Hey he greeted, stepping inside and looking around the small kitchenette. The place had a quiet vibe to it, which he found grounding.
He could tell she was tense, pacing the tiny space as if trying to shake off nerves. I’m guessing this isn’t just a casual visit he said, leaning back against the counter. What’s on your mind, Haven? You got me here, so whatever it is—just say it. I’ve been around this business long enough to know we all carry our own shadows, and maybe yours has been lingering a bit too close lately
You knew my mother Her words spilled out of her quickly, turning to face him. Her entire body language was frantic and anxious and the stream of uncontrolled words continued without her even taking a breath.
At least, I think you did. You worked with her. Almost every single person training us at the academy did. And I thought I could just come here and stand on my own feet and figure it out, but I can’t because everywhere I turn it’s like she’s there She finally stopped for a brief breath, probably not even half of one really. Which doesn’t make sense because she was never there! Ever. I’ve been talking to and learning from people who spent more time with her in one match than I did my whole life and now I’m in this crazy match and I still don’t even have all the basic holds down! I haven’t done this before. When you had us in the ring today that was my FIRST time in one and what if all of this is just some huge mistake
Her pacing didn’t stop, her voice picking up speed and getting louder as she finally let everything out that she had been holding in.
And they said born to do this. Did you see that? Born to do this? I can’t live up to that
He listened, his expression calm, a quiet empathy in his eyes. When she finally stopped, he took a breath and replied, keeping his tone steady.
I did know your mom. She was relentless and pushed through anything. But Haven, that doesn’t mean her path has to be yours. You’re here, putting yourself through hell, not because you have to live up to some idea of her but because you chose this
He met her gaze firmly, hoping his words might steady her. If you feel like a mistake? Trust me, we’ve all been there. And every time you hit that ring, you’re building your story, one step at a time. The pressure? It’s there, sure. But you don’t owe anyone but yourself
She finally exhaled, shoving her hands into her pockets with a small nod, the anxiety still radiated off her but she finally relaxed just the tiniest amount.
What if I fail Tears pricked at the edge of her eyes, she could feel the well and swallowed hard holding them back.
All I’ve ever wanted, my whole life is to know her. And now she’s gone and this is all I have left One of her hands slipped out of her pocket, wrapping around the simple gold ring she wore on a leather string around her neck. Walking in her footsteps, cementing her legacy, that’s all I have… what I owe to myself feels heavier than anything else
His eyes softened, though there was a flicker of confusion. He hadn’t known Haven’s mother was gone, and he took a moment, sensing the weight in her words.
Haven, I didn’t know he said gently, watching her carefully. But if you’re here to understand her, to walk a path that connects you two, then that’s powerful. You’re not meant to replicate her journey. You’re meant to use what she left behind and make it yours. It’s not about living up to her legacy; it’s about building your own
Nobody knows Her eyebrows knit together and she looked down, shaking her head slowly. I haven’t even told anyone back home She sniffed, forcing back those tears again and dropping her hand back down to shove it into her pocket with a sigh.
I just want to know she’d be proud
He nodded, his face softening even further. He let her words settle, giving her a moment. Haven, from what I remember of your mom, she’d have been proud of you just for standing here, even with all these doubts he replied quietly. The fact that you’re here, facing all of this head on, says more than any match ever could. It’s not about getting it perfect. Just keep taking those steps, and you’ll be more than enough. She’d see that
Haven finally lifted her gaze to meet his, nodding her head slowly, quick to wipe away any close to falling tears and managing a half smile.
Thanks… I um She swallowed hard, nodding her head again. I needed that, I haven’t had a chance to talk about any of this and then the match card dropped and I just… started panicking you know
Her tone was soft and somewhat calmer, the underlying anxiety and nerves were still there, but she was less frantic than before.
But you’re right and I have to do this for me, my way… I’m not her and I’m definitely not my father Her eyes flashed with a different look for a second at the mere thought of him before she smiled again, another deep breath.
Thank you, for listening and letting me get all that out and for not looking at me like I’m a crazy person, even if I’m sort of acting like one half the time
He smiled and took a step forward, pulling Haven into a warm, comforting hug. He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, letting her know without words that he was there for her. After a moment, he stepped back, keeping his hands on her shoulders, and offered a small smile.
Remember, you’ve got people here who believe in you, Haven. So when that self-doubt creeps in, just know you’re not alone in this he said gently. You’ve got this
She returned the hug, grateful for the reassurance and when he stepped back and smiled, she echoed back that same expression on her own face.
Yeah, that’s the part that’s still hard I guess She bobbed her head to the side for a moment and sighed softly. Before I got here, the only person who believed I could do this with me… Auntie is just scared to lose me, like she lost my mom. But she doesn’t want me to do this, she’s never wanted me to. Before yesterday I was completely alone in this, so I guess that’s an adjustment I just need to get used to, too
He nodded, his smile softening as he listened to her words. It makes sense, Haven. It’s hard to start trusting when you’ve had to do it alone for so long. But every time you step in that ring, you’re proving to yourself and everyone else that you can do this
He patted her arm lightly, giving her another reassuring look. Keep leaning into that strength. You’ve got people here now who want to see you succeed, so let them be part of that journey. And trust me… it gets easier
She nodded again, at least for now the majority of her anxiety staved off. Nodding at her gym bag with a wider smile now.
Guess I’d better get back to work then, I have plenty of catching up to do and if there’s one thing I’m confident in, it’s that I won’t stop until I’ve got it right
Pausing she looked back to him, exhaling once more. Thank you . Really
He gave her an encouraging nod. That’s the spirit, Haven. Keep pushing. You’re here for a reason, and if you keep working, you’ll catch up before you know it
He returned her smile with a warm grin, sincerity shining in his eyes. Anytime. Just remember, you’re not alone in this, alright? Now I want you to get out there and show everyone exactly what you’re made of. Show them that you were made for this. Legion will back you every step of the way
The warm grin and his sincerity calmed that sparking anxiety again as she nodded in agreement with him, grateful to feel like she has someone on her side.
That really does mean a lot. You’re pretty good at this whole, making me feel calmer thing. If you weren’t a trainer you could be a life coach or something
Her gaze stayed locked on him, an easy smile on her lips now along with her attempt at a joke. He chuckled, leaning casually against the wall. Life coach, huh? Maybe I’ll add that to my list of backup plans he said with a hint of a smirk, his gaze lingering on hers for a moment.
But, I’ll take it as a win if I can help you feel like you’ve got this handled He tilted his head slightly, his expression softening. If you ever need a pep talk or just someone to remind you you’re not crazy you know where to find me
She went to say something and then stopped herself, which lead to her kind of doing a weird shuffle on the spot. Before seemingly giving in to their impulsive thoughts.
A quick step closing the distance between them she kissed him, it was a very quick brief kiss that was quickly followed by her cheeks flushing bright red.
Shocked by her own forwardness she took that same quick step back and flapped her hands just a little bit as she tried to find something to say, her face still blushing and a picture of shock and embarrassment.
His brows shot up, momentarily stunned, but his surprise quickly melted into a warm smile. He didn’t move to close the distance again, respecting the moment and her reaction. With a soft chuckle, he reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. Well, that was… unexpected he murmured, his tone light and a bit teasing.
He glanced back at her, his eyes softer, and added with a quiet sincerity, Guess I’m glad I could make you feel that brave
Sorry She chewed at her bottom lip for a moment, looking anywhere but at him as she shuffled a little on the spot and tried to will the blush of her cheeks to go down.
I just made it weird again… I just Her frantic anxious energy returning as she finally looked back at him. You look REALLY good That blush came back with a vengeance and she met his gaze with an awkward smile.
I shouldn’t have just… kissed you like that. I just kinda really wanted to
He paused, meeting her gaze, the weight of honesty tugging at him. I… should say, there’s something going on with someone else
He hesitated, but before he could pull away entirely, something in him gave in to the moment. He leaned in, catching her lips with his in a way that held nothing back. A kiss fueled by a passion he hadn’t realized was there until now.
~~~~
She leaned in to kiss him softly, it was a tender kiss, different from the one that started everything and different from the desperate, hungry kisses moments ago. This was a sweet, genuine touch of affection before she smiled, nodding her head.
Just knowing that you’re cheering me on, no matter how far away the cheering is coming from… it helps Swallowing a little harder than before, a tiny flicker of the anxiety she had been feeling about the upcoming match caught her by surprise.
I can be patient, I can wait The tiniest little furrow of her brow, before she looked back into his eyes and let that melt away. For however long, til you have things figured out… I can wait. So long as we can have this
He held her gaze, a mix of warmth and understanding in his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from her face, his touch gentle. Then we’ll make the most of what we’ve got for now, yeah He smiled, a hint of reassurance in his tone. And who knows, maybe we won’t have to wait too long. But I promise, no matter where I am or what’s going on, you’ll have me rooting for you every step of the way
He gave her hand a squeeze, grounding them both in that shared moment.
Yeah She agreed, turning her head to his touch when he brushed the stand of hair away and then bringing her eyes back to his. Sliding her thumb over the back of his hand that held hers. Feeling like this? It’s worth waiting for
Her other hand touched the gold ring that was still around her neck, closing her eyes for a moment and pushing back down the anxiety and nerves that flittered near the surface whenever she let her mind wander for a second too long. But for now… tell me all the trade secrets She grinned, laughing too and leaning her head to his chest with a content and suddenly tired sigh. Or maybe just one secret
His gaze softened as he held her, savoring the quiet between them. He chuckled, brushing his thumb gently over her hand as he met her gaze.
One trade secret, huh he murmured, a playful smile tugging at his lips. Alright, here’s one, you’re already more ready than you think He leaned down, his voice a gentle reassurance. It’s all about trusting yourself. You have what it takes
He sighed contently as she rested her head on his chest, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on her back.
Hmm her response was soft and dreamy, her body already relaxing, her head against his chest resting there, her breathing heavy and calm as she fluttered her lashes again, the soothing touch of his fingers on her back and the quiet calm she felt, her body so close to his, the warmth of his presence.
Stay til I fall asleep Her question, request was whispered. She hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours a night since she left Thailand, everything was too different, she was too anxious, but in that moment she drift of sleep that enticed her was as safe and warm as the man who held her.
His hold tightened slightly, his hand still tracing those gentle patterns across her back. Her whispered request stirred a warmth in him, and he lowered his head to press a soft kiss against her hair.
Of course he whispered back, his own voice low and soothing. I’ll be right here
The empty, cramped hotel gym was her sanctuary; when nothing else made sense she could come here and let the world melt away. Being in the gym was when she felt closest to her mother, she could feel her in every kick she landed. When she was in the gym it was like the essence of the woman she had spent her life trying to know, was right there with her, guiding her.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
The feel of the beaten up old leather giving beneath her strike was familiar, safe. As she pulled her right leg up and kicked the punching bag with full force behind it, landing strike after strike in the exact same spot until the bag began to fold and ripple beneath her striking zone, it was like nothing had ever changed.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
She was six years old, running down the street in her school clothes. Her classmates were playing and laughing as they chased the local stray cats and were handed treats from their mothers for the end of the school day. Dashing past all of them, she would run headlong into the gym that had been home to her for as long as she held memories. A young Haven practically falling over her own feet as she burst into the small reception hall that preceded the room where the real training happened.
She stopped, staring up at the photographs on the wall. A beautiful blonde woman with a strength behind her eyes she longed to emulate even at such a young age stared down at her from the gilded frame of her photo. Haven bowed her head, kneeling and whispering something to herself, one hand wrapped around a simple gold ring that hung around her neck from a thinning leather lace. And the photograph left - a dark haired man with mean eyes and an even meaner expression glared down. She didn’t offer the same mark of respect to him, too young to know who he was and why she had been spared, she climbed to her feet.
Haven rushed to kick off her shoes, shoving her coat and school bag under a small table and snatching up the bag, a little canvas kit bag that had taken the spot just moments before. She couldn’t change quick enough, wrestling with Auntie to escape her hair being slicked back and tied up. Desperate to get out there, to not miss another single second of anything.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
She’s eleven years old, rain pouring down from the sky and hitting the wide black umbrellas overhead with a steady patter. The faces of students spanning decades somber and silent stood beside the open grave. She couldn’t hear the words of the man standing at the head of the grave, dressed in black robes; his prayer lost on her heart, his blessings finding her soul out of reach as she searched those faces. Row after row of people she knew, when all she really wanted was to see the face of one she didn’t.
The thudding of dirt on his coffin drowned out the sobs of loved ones, white pressed hankies held to their eyes as they watched the man who had guided them, all of them for so many years be placed in his final resting place. Haven’s heart raced as she caught a glimpse of it, the shiny wooden finish of his coffin slowly disappearing from view beneath layers and layers of mud and dirt. Anger and grief hit her, how could she not have come? How could she leave them all here to bury him without her? Didn’t she care? Didn’t she love them any more?
Haven thought about flinging herself in there with him, going with the last of the family she had left. Curling up there in that grave with him. Would she come then? If the dirt began to swallow her up and they buried her, would that be enough for her mother to come home? As if she knew, could see the idea written across the face of her young ward; Dara reached out and grabbed Haven by the shoulder, drawing her into her chest in a tight hug. The rain breaking through the line of umbrellas disguising the tears on both of their cheeks.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
Sixteen. Flush with the color of first love and young exuberance.
Running down the street still in her school clothes, stopping to feed the local stray cats who mew and purr at the sight of her. Each feline fed and checked over before she takes off running once again, feet skidding on the uneven path and hot red cheeks giving away her less than graceful entrance as she barrelled into the small home she shared with Auntie and the twins she considered her siblings. Kicking off her shoes and hanging her bag on the hook by the door.
Up on the wall, that same photo. Faded now and sun worn, parts of the once golden blonde hair now almost gray, those wilful eyes filled with determination losing saturation. But still Haven bowed to her knees, head forward as she began to utter the same prayer she had offered every day since she could speak. Her hand wrapped around the simple gold ring that hung around her neck from a simple leather string.
Where were you A cold voice from mean lips, an even meaner expression on his face. Dark eyes with malice like daggers on her skin.
Haven stood and turned, a nervous smile on her face. She wanted to tell him that she had run all the way home, quick as she could but her words didn’t reach his eyes. Her pleads missed his heart as his shadow swallowed her whole, like the deep open grave she had longed to throw herself into.
Why do you make me do this He asked, fists all balled up. Sharp and painful scarlet droplets flowing, disguising the tears on her cheeks.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Come Home.
She’s seventeen, a single piece of white paper held between trembling fingertips. The overhead speakers advised passengers of their gate numbers and flight times. The rows on rows of cold metal benches littered with those who had time to kill thanks to long layovers or flight delays. A single black gym bag at her feet, filled with whatever she had been able to pack in a hurry. Seventeen years of life thrown into a bag in the middle of the night.
Her feet had run down those cobbled streets, skipping around the first of the early risers, her sneakers thudding out in the quiet of the just before dawn. Her hair swept back off her face, tied high in a ponytail just like she had seen in the photos she had looked at a hundred times, the same photos that were now shoved into the gym bag.
People continued to mill around, rolling suitcases across smooth floors made a soothing sound as her bright eyes canned the letter over and over again. The envelope on her lap, faded and folded. No post mark or stamp remained and if you hadn’t known the address before it was rubbed away, you wouldn’t even be able to tell where it had been posted to.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Come Home.
Seventeen.
Rain hammers down from the sky, splashing against the window panes just outside of the small room where she stood. Looking up, staring beyond the ceiling and into the sky above. Willing the cloud to come down, to converge on the building and blind her from the cold, bright room that held what was left of her world. She saw that beautiful blonde hair, as long and as vibrant as when she was six years old, gazing up at a woman she would never know. Her eyes, like the fading old photograph that stood in the hall, the fire and the strength gone. Haven fell to her knees, hands pressed to her chest as if to keep her heart from ripping from her chest.
No prayers or blessings, just a scream that belonged to someone else, a scream tearing through the room and darkening the souls of the men who lined the wall behind her. She had wished to see the face of a stranger and now that was all she would ever see again. Her hands balled into fists, pushing against her knees as he screamed. Her body racked with sobs, tearing pieces of herself away. Only a thin pane of glass between them; it was too much.
Haven thought about throwing her through that window, crawling through the shards of fallen glass and climbing onto that table. She wanted to curl up there beside her, let them pull the sheet over them both if it meant she would know the touch of her mother just once. To know she cared. But it wasn’t enough, she was already too late.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Come home.
Eighteen.
Haven didn’t have an actual ‘home’ at least, not in the country but the Las Vegas hotel way off the strip that took long term tenants was just fine for her. The passing of her mother last year had set off the chain of events and now here she was, attempting to follow in the footsteps of someone she had never actually met, but had looked up to her entire life. Growing up in Thailand she was used to simple living and ‘Auntie’ as she called her, the woman who was her moms adoptive sister had made sure she had everything she needed when she made the plans to do all of this.
But when she got here and somehow managed to get a coveted spot at Crucible, she quickly realised that not only was every other person in the academy more experienced than her… but she was also living in a shadow only she could see.
That’s why, once they were placed in their factions, she had reached out to people who knew her mother; who she felt she could perhaps trust since they had been colleagues and not the kind to turn on her either. But now she was waiting for one of her coaches in the same hotel room she had arrived to and it suddenly seemed like a stupid and dangerous idea to have this conversation with anyone who knew her mother.
At least she had talked herself out of going straight to Jenson or worse… the Anderson’s. So for now she just paced the floor of the tiny kitchenette the room offered, waiting for a knock at the door.
He knocked lightly, waiting until Haven opened the door before giving her an easy smile. Hey he greeted, stepping inside and looking around the small kitchenette. The place had a quiet vibe to it, which he found grounding.
He could tell she was tense, pacing the tiny space as if trying to shake off nerves. I’m guessing this isn’t just a casual visit he said, leaning back against the counter. What’s on your mind, Haven? You got me here, so whatever it is—just say it. I’ve been around this business long enough to know we all carry our own shadows, and maybe yours has been lingering a bit too close lately
You knew my mother Her words spilled out of her quickly, turning to face him. Her entire body language was frantic and anxious and the stream of uncontrolled words continued without her even taking a breath.
At least, I think you did. You worked with her. Almost every single person training us at the academy did. And I thought I could just come here and stand on my own feet and figure it out, but I can’t because everywhere I turn it’s like she’s there She finally stopped for a brief breath, probably not even half of one really. Which doesn’t make sense because she was never there! Ever. I’ve been talking to and learning from people who spent more time with her in one match than I did my whole life and now I’m in this crazy match and I still don’t even have all the basic holds down! I haven’t done this before. When you had us in the ring today that was my FIRST time in one and what if all of this is just some huge mistake
Her pacing didn’t stop, her voice picking up speed and getting louder as she finally let everything out that she had been holding in.
And they said born to do this. Did you see that? Born to do this? I can’t live up to that
He listened, his expression calm, a quiet empathy in his eyes. When she finally stopped, he took a breath and replied, keeping his tone steady.
I did know your mom. She was relentless and pushed through anything. But Haven, that doesn’t mean her path has to be yours. You’re here, putting yourself through hell, not because you have to live up to some idea of her but because you chose this
He met her gaze firmly, hoping his words might steady her. If you feel like a mistake? Trust me, we’ve all been there. And every time you hit that ring, you’re building your story, one step at a time. The pressure? It’s there, sure. But you don’t owe anyone but yourself
She finally exhaled, shoving her hands into her pockets with a small nod, the anxiety still radiated off her but she finally relaxed just the tiniest amount.
What if I fail Tears pricked at the edge of her eyes, she could feel the well and swallowed hard holding them back.
All I’ve ever wanted, my whole life is to know her. And now she’s gone and this is all I have left One of her hands slipped out of her pocket, wrapping around the simple gold ring she wore on a leather string around her neck. Walking in her footsteps, cementing her legacy, that’s all I have… what I owe to myself feels heavier than anything else
His eyes softened, though there was a flicker of confusion. He hadn’t known Haven’s mother was gone, and he took a moment, sensing the weight in her words.
Haven, I didn’t know he said gently, watching her carefully. But if you’re here to understand her, to walk a path that connects you two, then that’s powerful. You’re not meant to replicate her journey. You’re meant to use what she left behind and make it yours. It’s not about living up to her legacy; it’s about building your own
Nobody knows Her eyebrows knit together and she looked down, shaking her head slowly. I haven’t even told anyone back home She sniffed, forcing back those tears again and dropping her hand back down to shove it into her pocket with a sigh.
I just want to know she’d be proud
He nodded, his face softening even further. He let her words settle, giving her a moment. Haven, from what I remember of your mom, she’d have been proud of you just for standing here, even with all these doubts he replied quietly. The fact that you’re here, facing all of this head on, says more than any match ever could. It’s not about getting it perfect. Just keep taking those steps, and you’ll be more than enough. She’d see that
Haven finally lifted her gaze to meet his, nodding her head slowly, quick to wipe away any close to falling tears and managing a half smile.
Thanks… I um She swallowed hard, nodding her head again. I needed that, I haven’t had a chance to talk about any of this and then the match card dropped and I just… started panicking you know
Her tone was soft and somewhat calmer, the underlying anxiety and nerves were still there, but she was less frantic than before.
But you’re right and I have to do this for me, my way… I’m not her and I’m definitely not my father Her eyes flashed with a different look for a second at the mere thought of him before she smiled again, another deep breath.
Thank you, for listening and letting me get all that out and for not looking at me like I’m a crazy person, even if I’m sort of acting like one half the time
He smiled and took a step forward, pulling Haven into a warm, comforting hug. He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, letting her know without words that he was there for her. After a moment, he stepped back, keeping his hands on her shoulders, and offered a small smile.
Remember, you’ve got people here who believe in you, Haven. So when that self-doubt creeps in, just know you’re not alone in this he said gently. You’ve got this
She returned the hug, grateful for the reassurance and when he stepped back and smiled, she echoed back that same expression on her own face.
Yeah, that’s the part that’s still hard I guess She bobbed her head to the side for a moment and sighed softly. Before I got here, the only person who believed I could do this with me… Auntie is just scared to lose me, like she lost my mom. But she doesn’t want me to do this, she’s never wanted me to. Before yesterday I was completely alone in this, so I guess that’s an adjustment I just need to get used to, too
He nodded, his smile softening as he listened to her words. It makes sense, Haven. It’s hard to start trusting when you’ve had to do it alone for so long. But every time you step in that ring, you’re proving to yourself and everyone else that you can do this
He patted her arm lightly, giving her another reassuring look. Keep leaning into that strength. You’ve got people here now who want to see you succeed, so let them be part of that journey. And trust me… it gets easier
She nodded again, at least for now the majority of her anxiety staved off. Nodding at her gym bag with a wider smile now.
Guess I’d better get back to work then, I have plenty of catching up to do and if there’s one thing I’m confident in, it’s that I won’t stop until I’ve got it right
Pausing she looked back to him, exhaling once more. Thank you . Really
He gave her an encouraging nod. That’s the spirit, Haven. Keep pushing. You’re here for a reason, and if you keep working, you’ll catch up before you know it
He returned her smile with a warm grin, sincerity shining in his eyes. Anytime. Just remember, you’re not alone in this, alright? Now I want you to get out there and show everyone exactly what you’re made of. Show them that you were made for this. Legion will back you every step of the way
The warm grin and his sincerity calmed that sparking anxiety again as she nodded in agreement with him, grateful to feel like she has someone on her side.
That really does mean a lot. You’re pretty good at this whole, making me feel calmer thing. If you weren’t a trainer you could be a life coach or something
Her gaze stayed locked on him, an easy smile on her lips now along with her attempt at a joke. He chuckled, leaning casually against the wall. Life coach, huh? Maybe I’ll add that to my list of backup plans he said with a hint of a smirk, his gaze lingering on hers for a moment.
But, I’ll take it as a win if I can help you feel like you’ve got this handled He tilted his head slightly, his expression softening. If you ever need a pep talk or just someone to remind you you’re not crazy you know where to find me
She went to say something and then stopped herself, which lead to her kind of doing a weird shuffle on the spot. Before seemingly giving in to their impulsive thoughts.
A quick step closing the distance between them she kissed him, it was a very quick brief kiss that was quickly followed by her cheeks flushing bright red.
Shocked by her own forwardness she took that same quick step back and flapped her hands just a little bit as she tried to find something to say, her face still blushing and a picture of shock and embarrassment.
His brows shot up, momentarily stunned, but his surprise quickly melted into a warm smile. He didn’t move to close the distance again, respecting the moment and her reaction. With a soft chuckle, he reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. Well, that was… unexpected he murmured, his tone light and a bit teasing.
He glanced back at her, his eyes softer, and added with a quiet sincerity, Guess I’m glad I could make you feel that brave
Sorry She chewed at her bottom lip for a moment, looking anywhere but at him as she shuffled a little on the spot and tried to will the blush of her cheeks to go down.
I just made it weird again… I just Her frantic anxious energy returning as she finally looked back at him. You look REALLY good That blush came back with a vengeance and she met his gaze with an awkward smile.
I shouldn’t have just… kissed you like that. I just kinda really wanted to
He paused, meeting her gaze, the weight of honesty tugging at him. I… should say, there’s something going on with someone else
He hesitated, but before he could pull away entirely, something in him gave in to the moment. He leaned in, catching her lips with his in a way that held nothing back. A kiss fueled by a passion he hadn’t realized was there until now.
~~~~
She leaned in to kiss him softly, it was a tender kiss, different from the one that started everything and different from the desperate, hungry kisses moments ago. This was a sweet, genuine touch of affection before she smiled, nodding her head.
Just knowing that you’re cheering me on, no matter how far away the cheering is coming from… it helps Swallowing a little harder than before, a tiny flicker of the anxiety she had been feeling about the upcoming match caught her by surprise.
I can be patient, I can wait The tiniest little furrow of her brow, before she looked back into his eyes and let that melt away. For however long, til you have things figured out… I can wait. So long as we can have this
He held her gaze, a mix of warmth and understanding in his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from her face, his touch gentle. Then we’ll make the most of what we’ve got for now, yeah He smiled, a hint of reassurance in his tone. And who knows, maybe we won’t have to wait too long. But I promise, no matter where I am or what’s going on, you’ll have me rooting for you every step of the way
He gave her hand a squeeze, grounding them both in that shared moment.
Yeah She agreed, turning her head to his touch when he brushed the stand of hair away and then bringing her eyes back to his. Sliding her thumb over the back of his hand that held hers. Feeling like this? It’s worth waiting for
Her other hand touched the gold ring that was still around her neck, closing her eyes for a moment and pushing back down the anxiety and nerves that flittered near the surface whenever she let her mind wander for a second too long. But for now… tell me all the trade secrets She grinned, laughing too and leaning her head to his chest with a content and suddenly tired sigh. Or maybe just one secret
His gaze softened as he held her, savoring the quiet between them. He chuckled, brushing his thumb gently over her hand as he met her gaze.
One trade secret, huh he murmured, a playful smile tugging at his lips. Alright, here’s one, you’re already more ready than you think He leaned down, his voice a gentle reassurance. It’s all about trusting yourself. You have what it takes
He sighed contently as she rested her head on his chest, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on her back.
Hmm her response was soft and dreamy, her body already relaxing, her head against his chest resting there, her breathing heavy and calm as she fluttered her lashes again, the soothing touch of his fingers on her back and the quiet calm she felt, her body so close to his, the warmth of his presence.
Stay til I fall asleep Her question, request was whispered. She hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours a night since she left Thailand, everything was too different, she was too anxious, but in that moment she drift of sleep that enticed her was as safe and warm as the man who held her.
His hold tightened slightly, his hand still tracing those gentle patterns across her back. Her whispered request stirred a warmth in him, and he lowered his head to press a soft kiss against her hair.
Of course he whispered back, his own voice low and soothing. I’ll be right here