Post by charlirozzi on Nov 27, 2024 7:38:05 GMT -8
The small hospital room was all the way down at the end of the hall, a small grouping of four rooms past double doors, with their own little nurses station right outside those doors. Each room had someone inside that was hooked up to
Several machines, beeps and whooshes drowning out all other sounds. As she stepped into the room number she had written on the palm of her hand; Sidd Vaniti looked around. Her eyes fell on the body in the bed, the young man had wires coming out of every part of his body.
A thick tube down his throat, affixed to his face with a mask as the small pump attached to one of the machines breathed for him. Each rise and fall of the blue coloured equipment kept him going. Five or so other machines crowded his bed, beeping and chiming away as they fought to keep him stable. Sidd was surprised by the sight that was laid out before her. She knew the beating has been brutal but she hadn’t expected this.
Sliding into the high backed chair that was next to his bed, she reached over and took one of his hands in hers, wrapping her fingers around it and giving it a small squeeze. She leaned in close, her voice barely a whisper, her lips almost touching his ear as she spoke.
”It’s okay Kian, you’re down but you’re not out… I’m here for you now.”
The sound of the machines was constant, a dull hum accompanied by rhythmic beeps. The air was sterile, thick with the scent of antiseptic and something metallic. Kian’s head felt heavy, his skull pounding like it had been through a war. His chest ached with every shallow breath, the rise and fall of his body slow and deliberate, as if it had taken every ounce of his strength.
His eyelids fluttered, dragging open just enough to let in the dim fluorescent light of the hospital room. Everything blurred together at first—the shapes of machines, the faint outline of someone sitting nearby. Slowly, the world came into focus, and his eyes locked onto a woman. She sat beside him, her fingers wrapped around his hand, her expression calm but intense.
A groan escaped him, low and hoarse, his throat dry and raw. He swallowed thickly, forcing out the first broken words. ”Wha… what happened?” he croaked, his voice barely above a whisper. ”Where am I?”
His gaze darted around the room—machines blinking and whirring, wires running from his body. Panic flickered in his eyes as he looked back to her.
”Who… who are you?” His voice grew steadier but no less confused, his fingers twitching weakly against hers. ”What’re you doin’ here? What… what is this?”
His breaths quickened, the sounds of the machines filling the space between his words. ”Am I… am I dyin’? Is this it? Feels like I’m strapped to some sci-fi setup or somethin’.”
He swallowed again, his throat painfully dry. His hand weakly squeezed hers, as if grounding himself would help the storm in his head settle. ”Please… just tell me. What’s goin’ on?” His voice cracked, a mixture of fear and exhaustion pulling at his words.
His panic and fear seemed to bring about some empathy in Sidd as she sat at his bedside. She had been sent there to make sure he was safe to ensure that he knew there were people who cared. But in that second she truly felt for him, he had been so willing to die for the woman he loved and now here he was, lying in a hospital bed, facing the reality that he almost did.
”Charli, she attacked you. On Sunday at the show? Don’t you remember?” She murmured the words, still close to him as she squeezed his hand again, happy to be his anchor in the confusion. ”Shhh it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok. The doctors here are pretty great.”
She didn’t know that, she didn’t know any of the doctors here but it felt like the kind of thing you were supposed to say when someone was lying in a hospital bed and afraid. So she said it anyway in hopes that it would offer him some comfort.
Even as she still held his hand, she looked back over her shoulder to see if there was a nurse passing by, someone she could alert to him now being awake.
The machines beeped steadily, a sharp contrast to the storm building in Kian’s chest. His brows furrowed as her words began to register. The name hit him like a hammer: Charli. She had done this. The person he’d trusted more than anyone had left him lying here, broken and bruised, surrounded by machines fighting to keep him alive.
His eyes widened, disbelief mixing with confusion and betrayal. ”No… no, that don’t make sense,” he whispered, his voice trembling. He shook his head weakly, his free hand twitching against the sheets. ”Charli wouldn’t… why would she? Nah, nah, you gotta be wrong. She wouldn’t do this to me.”
His breathing quickened, the rhythmic hiss of the machines seeming to mock him with every rise and fall of his chest. He tried to sit up, his muscles protesting as pain radiated through his body. ”I need to go,” he muttered, his voice growing stronger, more frantic. ”I gotta find her. I gotta… I gotta fix this.”
Before she could stop him, his trembling fingers reached for the wires attached to his body. His movements were clumsy, but desperation fueled him. One by one, he started tugging at them, ignoring the sharp sting as some of them pulled free. ”This… this ain’t right. I need answers. She—she wouldn’t just leave me here like this!”
She jumped up, her hands grabbing his as she shushed him, trying to stick some of the wires back on as alarms started to go off and loud angry beeping filled the room. Before she could do much else, a nurse appeared and shook her head. She scolded Kian and told him he had to stay in bed. When she threatened him with a tranquilliser to keep him calm, Sidd finally spoke up.
”I’ll make sure he stays in the bed, he doesn’t want any more drugs. Please.” Her tone was that melodic beauty of a voice she had, her smile winning the nurse over as she rushed out the room. Sidd turned back to Kian again with a sad shake of her head. ”You were in the ring, remember? You got on your knees and she took steel toe boots to you… then Ozzie came out.”
She tried to keep her hands on him, wanting him to keep calm but knowing this was likely the type of news that would have him trying to leap out of the bed once again. Her hand on his arm she leaned in close, her eyes full of compassion.
”They fucked you up Kian, your dad and uncle have been around here a lot since they brought you in… I’ve been out here to keep you safe. Keep an eye on you.” She smiled at him now, even winked. ”Lucky for you I’m nice to look at.”
Kian’s jaw clenched, his hands still trembling even as the nurse scolded him. He let his head fall back against the pillow, his chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven breaths. He couldn’t even look at Sidd as she explained, her words hitting him like a series of body blows he couldn’t dodge.
”She did that?” he whispered, his voice thick with disbelief. ”She got me on my knees and… steel toes? Ozzie?” His lips pressed into a hard line, the pain of her betrayal cutting deeper than any injury. He turned his head away, his gaze fixed on the machines. ”She didn’t just leave me. She humiliated me. For what? For him?”
His fists clenched at his sides, shaking with anger and heartbreak. ”I gave her everything,” he said bitterly. ”Everything. I would’ve taken bullets for her, and she just...” His voice cracked, and he stopped, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.
The room felt suffocating, the steady beeping of the machines now an unbearable reminder of how far he’d fallen. He closed his eyes tightly, willing the sting of tears to go away. He wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not now.
When Sidd’s voice broke through again, softer this time, her hand resting on his arm, he flinched but didn’t pull away. Her words sounded compassionate, almost playful, and they finally drew his attention back to her. He looked up, his stormy eyes meeting hers, and for the first time, a crack of something lighter slipped through the chaos inside him.
”Lucky for me, huh?” he said, his voice quieter now, but still tinged with exhaustion and bitterness. He studied her face for a moment, his expression softening despite himself. ”Yeah, I guess you are kinda nice to look at...”
The words came out unexpectedly, his lips quirking just slightly, like he surprised even himself. It was the barest flicker of innocence in the middle of his heartbreak, but it lingered for just a moment before he let out a weary sigh and sank deeper into the bed. ”Doesn’t mean I’m stayin’ in this damn bed, though.”
”Ohhh you guess?” Her tone switched up to indignant playfulness as she slid out of the chair and walked around the bed to point to the window. ”Want me to open the curtains? It’s been so dreary in here...” as she asked she didn’t wait for his reply, instead snapping the curtains open and then turning to look at him with a smile.
”Clearly you need some light in here since you think I’m only KINDA nice to look at!” She smiled again, shaking her head and playing at being offended before she walked back towards the bed, sitting on the edge of it and gently poking his shoulder with a finger.
”Im on strict instructions to keep you in this bed for as long as the doctors say, so I’m afraid you’re gonna be in there a while longer.”
Kian’s cheeks flushed as Sidd’s playful tone cut through the heavy air, momentarily disarming his spiraling emotions. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, his gaze darting to the window where the sudden burst of light poured in. The brightness made him squint, but he couldn’t stop the corner of his mouth from twitching into the faintest ghost of a smile.
”I didn’t mean it like that,” he mumbled, his voice softer now, the usual edge dulled by a mixture of shame and awkwardness. ”It’s just how I talk. You are really nice to look at… I mean, seriously, you’re gorgeous.”
He hesitated, his eyes meeting hers, then darting away like he couldn’t handle the weight of her gaze. His fingers fidgeted with the edge of the sheet, his voice growing even quieter. ”Your eyes… they bring a lot of comfort. They do. It’s like, if you weren’t here, I think they’d have tossed me in the psych ward by now. For real.”
His voice cracked slightly on the last words, and he couldn’t stop the sting building behind his eyes. He felt the tears well up and didn’t bother trying to fight them this time. His throat tightened as he continued, the raw honesty spilling out of him like a dam breaking.
”I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking as he finally looked back at her. ”For bein’ such a bitch just now. I just… I can’t believe this is my life. My whole world crashed down, and it’s my fault.”
He let out a shaky breath, swiping at his eyes but not really caring if the tears fell. ”I did dumb shit, you know? Trying to impress her. Trying to make her proud. I just… I wanted someone to be proud of me. Someone who wasn’t my dad or uncle, ‘cause they’re supposed to be, y’know?”
His voice faltered again, but he didn’t look away this time, holding Sidd’s gaze as he spoke. ”I thought… I thought maybe if I could make her proud, maybe I’d be worth somethin’. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a fuck-up all the time.”
His hands clenched into weak fists, his frustration bubbling just below the surface. ”And now I’m here. Lying in a damn hospital bed. For what? For nothin’. She played me like a damn fool.”
His head dipped, shoulders sagging with the weight of everything he’d said. The light pouring through the window suddenly felt too bright, too harsh against the vulnerability he’d just laid bare.
From the edge of the bed she smiled at him, the compliments he gave her showed a little of the Kian people had been seeing this whole time and her finger moved from his shoulder, her hand sliding down his arm to take his in hers.
Before she could say anything to him though, she heard the voice crack and saw the shift in his body language before the tears started. Quietly, patiently she wiped them away with her thumb, brushing them from his cheeks with a tender gaze, she didn’t look away from him even when he did.
”You, don’t have anything to apologise for Kian.” That melodic voice of hers sounded even sweeter when she murmured those words to him. The breaking weight of the betrayal he had suffered was like a weight between them. It made the air seem thick and full of pain. Somehow she didn’t falter, her hand squeezed his with a reassuring stroke of her thumb across the back of his hand.
”She never deserved you Kian. Someone like her? She uses people, she takes what she wants and she leaves them reeling. She’s always been that way.” She placed the hand that had been brushing away tears to his cheek. ”Hey…. Look at me?”
Sidd leaned in, kissing his forehead with a tender touch. Her kiss was warm and said so much more than her words could, when she pulled back and kept her eyes on his, not letting that hold of his gaze falter. She remained silent for a long pause, her hand on his anchoring him to the moment, to her. The hand on his cheek, brushed her thumb across his cheekbone in a gentle caress.
”You have given so much already, it’s time to let someone take care of you...”
Kian’s breath hitched as her words washed over him, each one cutting through the mess of guilt and betrayal swirling in his chest. Her hand on his felt steady, grounding him in a way he didn’t know he needed until that moment. When her thumb wiped away the tears he hadn’t even realized were falling, it nearly broke him all over again.
He sniffled, barely holding it together, and her melodic voice wrapped around him like a balm on raw wounds. ”She… she never deserved me?” he repeated, his voice shaky, like he didn’t fully believe it. His gaze lingered on their joined hands before he finally looked up at her, his tear-filled eyes meeting hers.
”You don’t get it,” he started, his voice low, trembling with the weight of everything he was holding back. ”I’ve been on my own most of my life. Before I even met my dad and uncle after I turned eighteen, I didn’t have anyone. My stepdad? He hated me. Couldn’t stand the sight of me. He’d call me worthless, a screw-up, a waste of space and whatever he could think of to make me feel like I was nothin’. And when that didn’t hit hard enough, he made sure his fists did.”
Kian’s voice broke on the last word, his head dropping as if saying it out loud brought the memories back with full force. ”I had to take care of myself. No one else was gonna do it. I was in survival mode from the second I could walk. I kept tellin’ myself, ‘You just gotta make it. Just gotta keep your head down and make it.’”
He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. ”And then I thought… finally. Finally, I was safe. I met my dad, my uncle… got outta that hellhole. I thought maybe I could stop watchin’ my back all the time, y’know? Stop carin’ about people who’d just hurt me. But I was wrong. So fuckin’ wrong.”
His free hand came up to scrub at his face, his fingers trembling as he fought to keep the tears from falling again. ”Charli… she was supposed to be different. I gave her everything, every damn thing, and she threw me away like I didn’t matter. Like I was just… just somethin’ to use and leave behind.”
When Sidd kissed his forehead, the gesture was so gentle, so unexpected, it disarmed him completely. For a moment, the crushing weight on his chest lightened, and he let himself just exist in that quiet moment. Her words, her touch, her gaze—it all anchored him in a way that made him feel like he wasn’t entirely lost.
”I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. ”Let someone take care of me. I’ve always had to prove I can handle shit on my own. My dad, my uncle? They never wanted me to lean on anyone. Said it’d make me weak. And Charli… I thought if I gave her enough, maybe she’d see me the way I wanted her to. But I was just… another pawn to her.”
His free hand came up to scrub at his face again, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. ”God, I’m such a mess right now. You’re sittin’ here tellin’ me to let someone take care of me, and all I’m doin’ is sittin’ here cryin’ like a kid.”
His hand dropped back to the bed, his eyes flicking back to hers. ”But… maybe you’re right,” he said, his voice trembling. ”Maybe I don’t gotta be strong all the time. Not right now. I just don’t know how to do that, Sidd. How do I do it?”
She listened to everything he had to say silently. She didn’t try to interject or object. She knew what it looked like to have to get everything out; to finally let go of things you had been holding onto out of fear that the same things they hurt you, were the only things really holding you together.
His tears, the way he admitted to the weight of his life on his chest. It was something she understood, something she knew too well. Sidd’s own childhood, whilst undoubtedly more comfortable than Kian’s echoed his own in many ways.
”I understand.” She muttered the words as she brushed his hair from his face. Her hands sweeping it back so she could see those pained, frightful eyes that seemed to scream for her to help him. Even with everything he said, it was the silent wailing agony of his gaze that drew her in.
”That’s what she does, she uses people Kian. What she’s done? That isn’t a reflection of you, it isn’t that you didn’t give her enough. You could’ve given her your life and it wouldn’t have been enough… She’s a sociopath, she isn’t capable of loving someone, especially not someone like you.”
There was a touch of sadness to her own voice, it caught in her throat as she spoke. Richard Chamberlain had been the love of her life, he was the first person to ever want to take care of her. He had taught her the value of being vulnerable. Of trusting someone that completely and Charli had robbed her of that.
”Your dad and your uncle are wrong Kian. There’s no weakness in trusting someone, in letting them in so completely that they can hold you up when you can’t stand...” she kissed his temples, one and then the other with soft, warm kisses where her lips just brushed his skin. ”I know it sounds like a lot right now and I don’t expect you to just willingly let me in. You’re hurt. You’re hurting, so much more than just the injuries that put you in this bed.”
She ran a hand down his cheek, wiping away the tears again with a soft shushing sound once more. ”Cry Kian, let it all out. And I’ll be right here holding your hand while you do.”
Kian’s breathing hitched as Sidd’s words sank in. Every soft, steady reassurance she offered chipped away at the walls he’d built over years of survival. It was as if she could see straight through the anger, the guilt, and the shame to the broken pieces he was too afraid to show anyone.
Her kisses on his temples sent a warmth through him he didn’t understand, didn’t feel like he deserved. Her words echoed in his head: ”There’s no weakness in trusting someone.” They struck a chord deep in his chest, breaking something loose that he hadn’t even realized he’d buried.
For a long moment, he just sat there, trembling, his jaw clenched as he tried to keep it all in. But the dam couldn’t hold any longer. His chest heaved, and before he could think, before the pain in his battered body could stop him, he reached for her. His arms, weak and shaking, wrapped around her tightly, pulling her into him as if holding her was the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground.
The pain shot through his ribs, a sharp reminder of his injuries, but he didn’t let go. His tears came in quiet, ragged sobs, his face buried against her shoulder. The weight of years of hurt—of fear, of anger, of betrayal—poured out of him, and he let it. For the first time in what felt like forever, he let himself cry.
His voice was muffled, choked with emotion as he clung to her. ”I just wanted someone to care,” he whispered through the tears. ”I just wanted to be enough. Just once.”
Sidd’s hand ran gently up and down his back, her presence steady, soothing, as the storm inside him raged and began to ebb. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but eventually, the tears slowed, his breathing evening out as the tightness in his chest began to ease.
Kian finally pulled back just enough to look at her, his eyes red and puffy but clearer than they’d been. His voice was hoarse, but there was a quiet curiosity behind it now. ”How do you know so much?” he asked, his brows furrowing slightly as he searched her face. ”About her? About… all this? It’s like you’ve been through it, too.”
She held him while he cried. She wanted to cry with him, for him. It was the release of decades of swallowed emotions and denied tears. As she rubbed a hand up and down his back, she welcomed the release. She knew he needed this, she could feel it in her bones and as he clung to her, she understood why Julian had sent her here.
”You’re enough, you’ve always been enough.” Her voice broke a little as she spoke, her empathy for him taking over her and one single tear trickling down her cheek. When he pulled back to look at her, she closed her eyes for a moment. She let his question hang in the silence between them for a few minutes.
”Because I have...” those tears dried up, she didn’t feel sadness for her own experience anymore. She was angry, vengeful, but she wasn’t sad. ”Her dad and I, we were in a relationship. He and his wife had been separate in the same house since Charli was a kid. Her mom had so many affairs he wasn’t even sure he was her dad...”
The anger in her voice was beyond prominent. Richard had saved her, took her from a home with two people who should never have been parents and a business arrangement engagement that threatened to not just ruin her life, but potentially end it.
”We fell in love and Charli found out. She blew it all up, ruined my life. Richard sank into such a depression he had to go and get help and I was left alone. 18, stranded and with no choice but to go back to the place I had been running from...”
Finally, Sidd looked down at her hand on his. She could feel the pounding of her blood flow in her ears, a tight fluttering feeling in her chest.
Kian listened intently, the raw emotion in Sidd’s voice rooting him to the moment. As much as his body ached, as much as his own pain still clawed at him, hearing her story shifted something inside him. He could see the anger simmering just beneath the surface, the tight way she gripped his hand, her knuckles pale, and the slight quiver in her voice.
He swallowed hard, his throat dry, and shifted in the bed to sit up straighter, wincing slightly as his ribs protested. ”She did that to you?” he asked softly, his voice still hoarse from crying but steadier now. ”She ruined your life, too?”
The words came out before he could stop them, his frustration with Charli bubbling to the surface again. He shook his head, his hand tightening around Sidd’s. ”She wrecked everything for both of us, didn’t she? And for what? Just ‘cause she could?”
His gaze dropped to their joined hands, his thumb brushing over hers almost absently. ”You didn’t deserve that,” he said quietly. ”You didn’t deserve to be left alone like that, after everything you went through. And you sure as hell didn’t deserve to have her tear your life apart.”
He looked up at her again, meeting her gaze with something softer in his eyes now—understanding, maybe even gratitude. ”I get why you’re here now,” he admitted, his voice trembling just a little. ”Julian knew I needed someone who could… who could actually understand what this feels like. What it’s like to trust someone completely, and then watch them rip it all away like it meant nothing.”
His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he fought against the wave of emotions threatening to crash over him again. ”You didn’t have to come here, though. You didn’t have to… to sit here and listen to me fall apart.”
His thumb still brushed over hers, and he let out a shaky breath, his eyes locking onto hers again. ”But you did. And I don’t even know how to thank you for that. I’ve been carrying this shit for so long, thinking I had to deal with it alone, thinking that was just the way life was. And now you’re here, telling me it’s okay to not be okay. That I’m not weak for… for needing someone.”
He paused, his voice dropping lower, almost to a whisper. ”No one’s ever said that to me before. Not like this.”
For a moment, the room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the machines. Kian’s fingers tightened around hers as he finally let himself breathe, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little. ”I’m sorry Charli did that to you,” he said softly, sincerity lacing every word. ”She doesn’t care who she hurts, does she? Just takes what she wants and leaves people in pieces. But you… you survived it. You came out stronger. And you’re sittin’ here now, tryin’ to help me do the same.”
He gave her a small, tired smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes but carried the faintest flicker of hope. ”I don’t know if I deserve it, but… I’m glad you’re here. You didn’t have to be, but you are. And that means more than I can even say.”
His voice softened further, a vulnerability he rarely let anyone see slipping through. ”You’re right, though. It’s time for me to let someone in. Someone who understands me for real and isn’t fakin’ it.” He glanced down at their joined hands again, his fingers brushing over hers one more time before looking back at her. ”So… thank you. For not just bein’ here, but for stayin’. And for being so easy on the eyes.”
The faintest glimmer of moisture returned to his eyes, but this time, he didn’t shy away from it. He let it sit there, unspoken, as he held her gaze and let himself finally start to trust.
Several machines, beeps and whooshes drowning out all other sounds. As she stepped into the room number she had written on the palm of her hand; Sidd Vaniti looked around. Her eyes fell on the body in the bed, the young man had wires coming out of every part of his body.
A thick tube down his throat, affixed to his face with a mask as the small pump attached to one of the machines breathed for him. Each rise and fall of the blue coloured equipment kept him going. Five or so other machines crowded his bed, beeping and chiming away as they fought to keep him stable. Sidd was surprised by the sight that was laid out before her. She knew the beating has been brutal but she hadn’t expected this.
Sliding into the high backed chair that was next to his bed, she reached over and took one of his hands in hers, wrapping her fingers around it and giving it a small squeeze. She leaned in close, her voice barely a whisper, her lips almost touching his ear as she spoke.
”It’s okay Kian, you’re down but you’re not out… I’m here for you now.”
The sound of the machines was constant, a dull hum accompanied by rhythmic beeps. The air was sterile, thick with the scent of antiseptic and something metallic. Kian’s head felt heavy, his skull pounding like it had been through a war. His chest ached with every shallow breath, the rise and fall of his body slow and deliberate, as if it had taken every ounce of his strength.
His eyelids fluttered, dragging open just enough to let in the dim fluorescent light of the hospital room. Everything blurred together at first—the shapes of machines, the faint outline of someone sitting nearby. Slowly, the world came into focus, and his eyes locked onto a woman. She sat beside him, her fingers wrapped around his hand, her expression calm but intense.
A groan escaped him, low and hoarse, his throat dry and raw. He swallowed thickly, forcing out the first broken words. ”Wha… what happened?” he croaked, his voice barely above a whisper. ”Where am I?”
His gaze darted around the room—machines blinking and whirring, wires running from his body. Panic flickered in his eyes as he looked back to her.
”Who… who are you?” His voice grew steadier but no less confused, his fingers twitching weakly against hers. ”What’re you doin’ here? What… what is this?”
His breaths quickened, the sounds of the machines filling the space between his words. ”Am I… am I dyin’? Is this it? Feels like I’m strapped to some sci-fi setup or somethin’.”
He swallowed again, his throat painfully dry. His hand weakly squeezed hers, as if grounding himself would help the storm in his head settle. ”Please… just tell me. What’s goin’ on?” His voice cracked, a mixture of fear and exhaustion pulling at his words.
His panic and fear seemed to bring about some empathy in Sidd as she sat at his bedside. She had been sent there to make sure he was safe to ensure that he knew there were people who cared. But in that second she truly felt for him, he had been so willing to die for the woman he loved and now here he was, lying in a hospital bed, facing the reality that he almost did.
”Charli, she attacked you. On Sunday at the show? Don’t you remember?” She murmured the words, still close to him as she squeezed his hand again, happy to be his anchor in the confusion. ”Shhh it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok. The doctors here are pretty great.”
She didn’t know that, she didn’t know any of the doctors here but it felt like the kind of thing you were supposed to say when someone was lying in a hospital bed and afraid. So she said it anyway in hopes that it would offer him some comfort.
Even as she still held his hand, she looked back over her shoulder to see if there was a nurse passing by, someone she could alert to him now being awake.
The machines beeped steadily, a sharp contrast to the storm building in Kian’s chest. His brows furrowed as her words began to register. The name hit him like a hammer: Charli. She had done this. The person he’d trusted more than anyone had left him lying here, broken and bruised, surrounded by machines fighting to keep him alive.
His eyes widened, disbelief mixing with confusion and betrayal. ”No… no, that don’t make sense,” he whispered, his voice trembling. He shook his head weakly, his free hand twitching against the sheets. ”Charli wouldn’t… why would she? Nah, nah, you gotta be wrong. She wouldn’t do this to me.”
His breathing quickened, the rhythmic hiss of the machines seeming to mock him with every rise and fall of his chest. He tried to sit up, his muscles protesting as pain radiated through his body. ”I need to go,” he muttered, his voice growing stronger, more frantic. ”I gotta find her. I gotta… I gotta fix this.”
Before she could stop him, his trembling fingers reached for the wires attached to his body. His movements were clumsy, but desperation fueled him. One by one, he started tugging at them, ignoring the sharp sting as some of them pulled free. ”This… this ain’t right. I need answers. She—she wouldn’t just leave me here like this!”
She jumped up, her hands grabbing his as she shushed him, trying to stick some of the wires back on as alarms started to go off and loud angry beeping filled the room. Before she could do much else, a nurse appeared and shook her head. She scolded Kian and told him he had to stay in bed. When she threatened him with a tranquilliser to keep him calm, Sidd finally spoke up.
”I’ll make sure he stays in the bed, he doesn’t want any more drugs. Please.” Her tone was that melodic beauty of a voice she had, her smile winning the nurse over as she rushed out the room. Sidd turned back to Kian again with a sad shake of her head. ”You were in the ring, remember? You got on your knees and she took steel toe boots to you… then Ozzie came out.”
She tried to keep her hands on him, wanting him to keep calm but knowing this was likely the type of news that would have him trying to leap out of the bed once again. Her hand on his arm she leaned in close, her eyes full of compassion.
”They fucked you up Kian, your dad and uncle have been around here a lot since they brought you in… I’ve been out here to keep you safe. Keep an eye on you.” She smiled at him now, even winked. ”Lucky for you I’m nice to look at.”
Kian’s jaw clenched, his hands still trembling even as the nurse scolded him. He let his head fall back against the pillow, his chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven breaths. He couldn’t even look at Sidd as she explained, her words hitting him like a series of body blows he couldn’t dodge.
”She did that?” he whispered, his voice thick with disbelief. ”She got me on my knees and… steel toes? Ozzie?” His lips pressed into a hard line, the pain of her betrayal cutting deeper than any injury. He turned his head away, his gaze fixed on the machines. ”She didn’t just leave me. She humiliated me. For what? For him?”
His fists clenched at his sides, shaking with anger and heartbreak. ”I gave her everything,” he said bitterly. ”Everything. I would’ve taken bullets for her, and she just...” His voice cracked, and he stopped, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.
The room felt suffocating, the steady beeping of the machines now an unbearable reminder of how far he’d fallen. He closed his eyes tightly, willing the sting of tears to go away. He wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not now.
When Sidd’s voice broke through again, softer this time, her hand resting on his arm, he flinched but didn’t pull away. Her words sounded compassionate, almost playful, and they finally drew his attention back to her. He looked up, his stormy eyes meeting hers, and for the first time, a crack of something lighter slipped through the chaos inside him.
”Lucky for me, huh?” he said, his voice quieter now, but still tinged with exhaustion and bitterness. He studied her face for a moment, his expression softening despite himself. ”Yeah, I guess you are kinda nice to look at...”
The words came out unexpectedly, his lips quirking just slightly, like he surprised even himself. It was the barest flicker of innocence in the middle of his heartbreak, but it lingered for just a moment before he let out a weary sigh and sank deeper into the bed. ”Doesn’t mean I’m stayin’ in this damn bed, though.”
”Ohhh you guess?” Her tone switched up to indignant playfulness as she slid out of the chair and walked around the bed to point to the window. ”Want me to open the curtains? It’s been so dreary in here...” as she asked she didn’t wait for his reply, instead snapping the curtains open and then turning to look at him with a smile.
”Clearly you need some light in here since you think I’m only KINDA nice to look at!” She smiled again, shaking her head and playing at being offended before she walked back towards the bed, sitting on the edge of it and gently poking his shoulder with a finger.
”Im on strict instructions to keep you in this bed for as long as the doctors say, so I’m afraid you’re gonna be in there a while longer.”
Kian’s cheeks flushed as Sidd’s playful tone cut through the heavy air, momentarily disarming his spiraling emotions. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, his gaze darting to the window where the sudden burst of light poured in. The brightness made him squint, but he couldn’t stop the corner of his mouth from twitching into the faintest ghost of a smile.
”I didn’t mean it like that,” he mumbled, his voice softer now, the usual edge dulled by a mixture of shame and awkwardness. ”It’s just how I talk. You are really nice to look at… I mean, seriously, you’re gorgeous.”
He hesitated, his eyes meeting hers, then darting away like he couldn’t handle the weight of her gaze. His fingers fidgeted with the edge of the sheet, his voice growing even quieter. ”Your eyes… they bring a lot of comfort. They do. It’s like, if you weren’t here, I think they’d have tossed me in the psych ward by now. For real.”
His voice cracked slightly on the last words, and he couldn’t stop the sting building behind his eyes. He felt the tears well up and didn’t bother trying to fight them this time. His throat tightened as he continued, the raw honesty spilling out of him like a dam breaking.
”I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking as he finally looked back at her. ”For bein’ such a bitch just now. I just… I can’t believe this is my life. My whole world crashed down, and it’s my fault.”
He let out a shaky breath, swiping at his eyes but not really caring if the tears fell. ”I did dumb shit, you know? Trying to impress her. Trying to make her proud. I just… I wanted someone to be proud of me. Someone who wasn’t my dad or uncle, ‘cause they’re supposed to be, y’know?”
His voice faltered again, but he didn’t look away this time, holding Sidd’s gaze as he spoke. ”I thought… I thought maybe if I could make her proud, maybe I’d be worth somethin’. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a fuck-up all the time.”
His hands clenched into weak fists, his frustration bubbling just below the surface. ”And now I’m here. Lying in a damn hospital bed. For what? For nothin’. She played me like a damn fool.”
His head dipped, shoulders sagging with the weight of everything he’d said. The light pouring through the window suddenly felt too bright, too harsh against the vulnerability he’d just laid bare.
From the edge of the bed she smiled at him, the compliments he gave her showed a little of the Kian people had been seeing this whole time and her finger moved from his shoulder, her hand sliding down his arm to take his in hers.
Before she could say anything to him though, she heard the voice crack and saw the shift in his body language before the tears started. Quietly, patiently she wiped them away with her thumb, brushing them from his cheeks with a tender gaze, she didn’t look away from him even when he did.
”You, don’t have anything to apologise for Kian.” That melodic voice of hers sounded even sweeter when she murmured those words to him. The breaking weight of the betrayal he had suffered was like a weight between them. It made the air seem thick and full of pain. Somehow she didn’t falter, her hand squeezed his with a reassuring stroke of her thumb across the back of his hand.
”She never deserved you Kian. Someone like her? She uses people, she takes what she wants and she leaves them reeling. She’s always been that way.” She placed the hand that had been brushing away tears to his cheek. ”Hey…. Look at me?”
Sidd leaned in, kissing his forehead with a tender touch. Her kiss was warm and said so much more than her words could, when she pulled back and kept her eyes on his, not letting that hold of his gaze falter. She remained silent for a long pause, her hand on his anchoring him to the moment, to her. The hand on his cheek, brushed her thumb across his cheekbone in a gentle caress.
”You have given so much already, it’s time to let someone take care of you...”
Kian’s breath hitched as her words washed over him, each one cutting through the mess of guilt and betrayal swirling in his chest. Her hand on his felt steady, grounding him in a way he didn’t know he needed until that moment. When her thumb wiped away the tears he hadn’t even realized were falling, it nearly broke him all over again.
He sniffled, barely holding it together, and her melodic voice wrapped around him like a balm on raw wounds. ”She… she never deserved me?” he repeated, his voice shaky, like he didn’t fully believe it. His gaze lingered on their joined hands before he finally looked up at her, his tear-filled eyes meeting hers.
”You don’t get it,” he started, his voice low, trembling with the weight of everything he was holding back. ”I’ve been on my own most of my life. Before I even met my dad and uncle after I turned eighteen, I didn’t have anyone. My stepdad? He hated me. Couldn’t stand the sight of me. He’d call me worthless, a screw-up, a waste of space and whatever he could think of to make me feel like I was nothin’. And when that didn’t hit hard enough, he made sure his fists did.”
Kian’s voice broke on the last word, his head dropping as if saying it out loud brought the memories back with full force. ”I had to take care of myself. No one else was gonna do it. I was in survival mode from the second I could walk. I kept tellin’ myself, ‘You just gotta make it. Just gotta keep your head down and make it.’”
He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. ”And then I thought… finally. Finally, I was safe. I met my dad, my uncle… got outta that hellhole. I thought maybe I could stop watchin’ my back all the time, y’know? Stop carin’ about people who’d just hurt me. But I was wrong. So fuckin’ wrong.”
His free hand came up to scrub at his face, his fingers trembling as he fought to keep the tears from falling again. ”Charli… she was supposed to be different. I gave her everything, every damn thing, and she threw me away like I didn’t matter. Like I was just… just somethin’ to use and leave behind.”
When Sidd kissed his forehead, the gesture was so gentle, so unexpected, it disarmed him completely. For a moment, the crushing weight on his chest lightened, and he let himself just exist in that quiet moment. Her words, her touch, her gaze—it all anchored him in a way that made him feel like he wasn’t entirely lost.
”I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. ”Let someone take care of me. I’ve always had to prove I can handle shit on my own. My dad, my uncle? They never wanted me to lean on anyone. Said it’d make me weak. And Charli… I thought if I gave her enough, maybe she’d see me the way I wanted her to. But I was just… another pawn to her.”
His free hand came up to scrub at his face again, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. ”God, I’m such a mess right now. You’re sittin’ here tellin’ me to let someone take care of me, and all I’m doin’ is sittin’ here cryin’ like a kid.”
His hand dropped back to the bed, his eyes flicking back to hers. ”But… maybe you’re right,” he said, his voice trembling. ”Maybe I don’t gotta be strong all the time. Not right now. I just don’t know how to do that, Sidd. How do I do it?”
She listened to everything he had to say silently. She didn’t try to interject or object. She knew what it looked like to have to get everything out; to finally let go of things you had been holding onto out of fear that the same things they hurt you, were the only things really holding you together.
His tears, the way he admitted to the weight of his life on his chest. It was something she understood, something she knew too well. Sidd’s own childhood, whilst undoubtedly more comfortable than Kian’s echoed his own in many ways.
”I understand.” She muttered the words as she brushed his hair from his face. Her hands sweeping it back so she could see those pained, frightful eyes that seemed to scream for her to help him. Even with everything he said, it was the silent wailing agony of his gaze that drew her in.
”That’s what she does, she uses people Kian. What she’s done? That isn’t a reflection of you, it isn’t that you didn’t give her enough. You could’ve given her your life and it wouldn’t have been enough… She’s a sociopath, she isn’t capable of loving someone, especially not someone like you.”
There was a touch of sadness to her own voice, it caught in her throat as she spoke. Richard Chamberlain had been the love of her life, he was the first person to ever want to take care of her. He had taught her the value of being vulnerable. Of trusting someone that completely and Charli had robbed her of that.
”Your dad and your uncle are wrong Kian. There’s no weakness in trusting someone, in letting them in so completely that they can hold you up when you can’t stand...” she kissed his temples, one and then the other with soft, warm kisses where her lips just brushed his skin. ”I know it sounds like a lot right now and I don’t expect you to just willingly let me in. You’re hurt. You’re hurting, so much more than just the injuries that put you in this bed.”
She ran a hand down his cheek, wiping away the tears again with a soft shushing sound once more. ”Cry Kian, let it all out. And I’ll be right here holding your hand while you do.”
Kian’s breathing hitched as Sidd’s words sank in. Every soft, steady reassurance she offered chipped away at the walls he’d built over years of survival. It was as if she could see straight through the anger, the guilt, and the shame to the broken pieces he was too afraid to show anyone.
Her kisses on his temples sent a warmth through him he didn’t understand, didn’t feel like he deserved. Her words echoed in his head: ”There’s no weakness in trusting someone.” They struck a chord deep in his chest, breaking something loose that he hadn’t even realized he’d buried.
For a long moment, he just sat there, trembling, his jaw clenched as he tried to keep it all in. But the dam couldn’t hold any longer. His chest heaved, and before he could think, before the pain in his battered body could stop him, he reached for her. His arms, weak and shaking, wrapped around her tightly, pulling her into him as if holding her was the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground.
The pain shot through his ribs, a sharp reminder of his injuries, but he didn’t let go. His tears came in quiet, ragged sobs, his face buried against her shoulder. The weight of years of hurt—of fear, of anger, of betrayal—poured out of him, and he let it. For the first time in what felt like forever, he let himself cry.
His voice was muffled, choked with emotion as he clung to her. ”I just wanted someone to care,” he whispered through the tears. ”I just wanted to be enough. Just once.”
Sidd’s hand ran gently up and down his back, her presence steady, soothing, as the storm inside him raged and began to ebb. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but eventually, the tears slowed, his breathing evening out as the tightness in his chest began to ease.
Kian finally pulled back just enough to look at her, his eyes red and puffy but clearer than they’d been. His voice was hoarse, but there was a quiet curiosity behind it now. ”How do you know so much?” he asked, his brows furrowing slightly as he searched her face. ”About her? About… all this? It’s like you’ve been through it, too.”
She held him while he cried. She wanted to cry with him, for him. It was the release of decades of swallowed emotions and denied tears. As she rubbed a hand up and down his back, she welcomed the release. She knew he needed this, she could feel it in her bones and as he clung to her, she understood why Julian had sent her here.
”You’re enough, you’ve always been enough.” Her voice broke a little as she spoke, her empathy for him taking over her and one single tear trickling down her cheek. When he pulled back to look at her, she closed her eyes for a moment. She let his question hang in the silence between them for a few minutes.
”Because I have...” those tears dried up, she didn’t feel sadness for her own experience anymore. She was angry, vengeful, but she wasn’t sad. ”Her dad and I, we were in a relationship. He and his wife had been separate in the same house since Charli was a kid. Her mom had so many affairs he wasn’t even sure he was her dad...”
The anger in her voice was beyond prominent. Richard had saved her, took her from a home with two people who should never have been parents and a business arrangement engagement that threatened to not just ruin her life, but potentially end it.
”We fell in love and Charli found out. She blew it all up, ruined my life. Richard sank into such a depression he had to go and get help and I was left alone. 18, stranded and with no choice but to go back to the place I had been running from...”
Finally, Sidd looked down at her hand on his. She could feel the pounding of her blood flow in her ears, a tight fluttering feeling in her chest.
Kian listened intently, the raw emotion in Sidd’s voice rooting him to the moment. As much as his body ached, as much as his own pain still clawed at him, hearing her story shifted something inside him. He could see the anger simmering just beneath the surface, the tight way she gripped his hand, her knuckles pale, and the slight quiver in her voice.
He swallowed hard, his throat dry, and shifted in the bed to sit up straighter, wincing slightly as his ribs protested. ”She did that to you?” he asked softly, his voice still hoarse from crying but steadier now. ”She ruined your life, too?”
The words came out before he could stop them, his frustration with Charli bubbling to the surface again. He shook his head, his hand tightening around Sidd’s. ”She wrecked everything for both of us, didn’t she? And for what? Just ‘cause she could?”
His gaze dropped to their joined hands, his thumb brushing over hers almost absently. ”You didn’t deserve that,” he said quietly. ”You didn’t deserve to be left alone like that, after everything you went through. And you sure as hell didn’t deserve to have her tear your life apart.”
He looked up at her again, meeting her gaze with something softer in his eyes now—understanding, maybe even gratitude. ”I get why you’re here now,” he admitted, his voice trembling just a little. ”Julian knew I needed someone who could… who could actually understand what this feels like. What it’s like to trust someone completely, and then watch them rip it all away like it meant nothing.”
His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he fought against the wave of emotions threatening to crash over him again. ”You didn’t have to come here, though. You didn’t have to… to sit here and listen to me fall apart.”
His thumb still brushed over hers, and he let out a shaky breath, his eyes locking onto hers again. ”But you did. And I don’t even know how to thank you for that. I’ve been carrying this shit for so long, thinking I had to deal with it alone, thinking that was just the way life was. And now you’re here, telling me it’s okay to not be okay. That I’m not weak for… for needing someone.”
He paused, his voice dropping lower, almost to a whisper. ”No one’s ever said that to me before. Not like this.”
For a moment, the room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the machines. Kian’s fingers tightened around hers as he finally let himself breathe, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little. ”I’m sorry Charli did that to you,” he said softly, sincerity lacing every word. ”She doesn’t care who she hurts, does she? Just takes what she wants and leaves people in pieces. But you… you survived it. You came out stronger. And you’re sittin’ here now, tryin’ to help me do the same.”
He gave her a small, tired smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes but carried the faintest flicker of hope. ”I don’t know if I deserve it, but… I’m glad you’re here. You didn’t have to be, but you are. And that means more than I can even say.”
His voice softened further, a vulnerability he rarely let anyone see slipping through. ”You’re right, though. It’s time for me to let someone in. Someone who understands me for real and isn’t fakin’ it.” He glanced down at their joined hands again, his fingers brushing over hers one more time before looking back at her. ”So… thank you. For not just bein’ here, but for stayin’. And for being so easy on the eyes.”
The faintest glimmer of moisture returned to his eyes, but this time, he didn’t shy away from it. He let it sit there, unspoken, as he held her gaze and let himself finally start to trust.